Potato Cult

The Potato Cult is a cult of potatoes that kills dummies like politicians who don't listen to scary stories we tell about climate change. Dummies are killed by the members of the cult doing a ritual in which they run around in circles chanting "You're a dummy...You're a dummy..." until their victim explodes into pieces from sheer brain damage. The Potato Cult also did a ritual which spawned the creation of EpicGuineaPig900910, a special cavy who doesn't bite the heads of fellow fruits and veggies off a first sight. In fact, EpicGuineaPig900910 thinks they taste like garbage. Except for apples, grapes, raisins, blueberries, oranges, bananas, and spinach. EpicGuineaPig900910 is also very smart and soon will invent fusion powered laser weapons.